Trade Reviews
Every trade gets analyzed by the bot, powered by FantasyCalc, KeepTradeCut, and internal simulations
An AI assisted chatbot for your Sleeper league
Every trade gets analyzed by the bot, powered by FantasyCalc, KeepTradeCut, and internal simulations
@ it in league chat and it will give an answer keeping track of standings, rosters, history, etc.
Weekly previews and recaps along with a preseason, midseason and end of season writeup
An hour before kickoff it calls out anyone starting a player who isn't playing.
The moment Sleeper processes a trade, the bot pulls both sides apart — ages, injuries, depth charts, records, draft picks, and trade values — and files its verdict in chat, in character.
Trade processed · Bench Mob ⇄ Team Gruden Grinders
Bench Mob gets Ja'Marr Chase. Team Gruden Grinders get Breece Hall and a 2027 1st. FantasyCalc puts that at 9,800 against 8,400 — close enough that nobody got robbed, which is frankly the disappointing part.
Grinders are 6-2 and just shipped their WR1 for a running back whose injury history is the first thing his own manager brings up. At 6-2 you buy. This is a sidegrade in a trench coat.
Bench Mob at 2-6 giving up a first for a 25-year-old wideout is the move of a man who has read exactly one article about contending windows. Grade: B- both ways, so everyone leaves mildly annoyed. Working as intended.
@ the bot in league chat and it answers with your league already loaded: standings, rosters, this week's matchups, every transaction, and the history of who has done what to whom.
@thecommishbot puka or nabers this week
Puka, and it isn't close. Nabers is in the lowest-total game on the slate behind an offense that has to throw from behind; Puka gets six catches on volume alone in a game his team wants to play. Check the inactives an hour before kickoff — I'll remind you.
You'll start Nabers anyway. You always do.
Every Tuesday it marks the end of the fantasy weekend: the blowout, the nail-biter, the top and low scorers, the best bench nobody started, the upsets, and where everyone now sits.
Week 9 · final scores are in
Week 9 recap. One blowout, one game decided by a kicker's shin, and a first-place team that no longer exists.
Blowout of the week: Bench Mob 171.4, Punt God Enjoyers 68.9. That is not a fantasy score, it's a phone number. The Enjoyers started two players on bye — I mentioned it an hour before kickoff. Twice.
Best bench goes to Team Gruden Grinders, who left 44.8 on the pine and won by three anyway. There is no justice in this league, only variance.
Standings: Bench Mob climb to 5-4 and take the last playoff spot. The Enjoyers drop to 3-6 and are now, mathematically, a rebuild.
you could have just posted the score
I could have.
Most of what it posts, nobody requested. Here is the week it keeps.
Every Tuesday morning
Once Monday night is in the books, the week gets marked: blowout of the week, the nail-biter, the top and low scorers, the best bench nobody started, the upsets, and the standings as they now stand.
Every Wednesday
Matchup by matchup: predictions, game of the week, injury concerns, must-starts, and the plays that will ruin your Sunday. Then it bets on its own calls and tracks them all season — which is the only reason anyone reads the receipts in Week 14.
About an hour before kickoff
It pulls live player status and calls out anyone still starting an Out, Doubtful, IR, or bye player. Late inactives are exactly when this is worth having, and exactly when nobody is looking.
Whenever someone asks
@ it in league chat any day of the week. It answers with your league loaded: standings, rosters, matchups, transactions, and the history of who has done what to whom.
A state-of-the-league write-up before Week 1 with a dynasty outlook for every roster, then again at midseason and once it's over.
It bets on its own Tuesday predictions and keeps the receipts all season, wins and losses alike.
Pick the character it plays. Every post is in that voice, and it's set per league.
Status pulls right before kickoff catch the inactive that drops at 11:30, not the box score that explains it afterwards.
FantasyCalc, KeepTradeCut, and its own simulations, so a take about a trade is anchored to a number.
Fresh headlines feed the posts, so nothing it says about your roster is a week stale.